We had a great time celebrating Charles’s birthday last week. I think the best part for me is that this is the first birthday that Jack has somewhat understood. While Charles was away last week I told Jack that Charles’s birthday was coming. This prompted him to go around the house singing ‘happy birthday to Daddy’ at least five or six times throughout the day.
I told Jack that we would need to think of what to get Daddy for a present. I asked him if he had any ideas to which he quickly answered ‘a ball’ – ‘a green ball’ to be exact. I encouraged Jack with the idea and told him I was sure Daddy would love a green ball. I was unsure at this point whether Jack would forget this great idea or whether it would persevere over the next week as we waited for Charles’s actual birthday to arrive.
Not only did the idea of getting Daddy a green ball continue, but it was told to most of our neighbours. Jack would happily tell anyone he met on campus that we were getting Daddy a green ball which would then leave me explaining exactly what Jack had in mind.
We made our way to the toy store the day before Charles’s birthday only to get stuck in a traffic jam that was pretty severe. I wasn’t in the mood to sit and wait so I made the decision to turn around and head to the grocery store hoping that they might have some type of green ball in stock. As I turned the car around Jack started crying and pleading that we get Daddy’s green ball. I told him that we were going to go to another store to look for it. I prayed the whole way to the store for green balls to be in stock. Jack hopped out of the car and into the shopping trolley greatly anticipating getting a green ball for Daddy. We made our way down the aisle with toys and there they were – I spotted the cage with rubber balls in it. I quickly looked and noticed that there were four left – three blue Thomas ones and one green Diego one. I secretly thought to myself that our green ball plan was about to be derailed by Jack’s obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine. How dare I underestimate the perseverance and determination of my son! I asked him which ball he wanted to get for Daddy and without hesitation he declared ‘the green one’. One green Diego ball was thrown into the trolley leaving the other three blue Thomas balls for the next toddler on a ball hunt.
I explained to Jack that we should try to keep the ball a secret from Daddy until tomorrow (which is a very interesting concept for a 2 year old). He did amazingly well in keeping the secret. He presented the green ball to Charles (wrapped in a lovely Tesco shopping bag) right after breakfast on Charles’s actual birthday. The present was met with great appreciation by Charles and they even had a few kicks around the house before Charles headed off for work. The £3 I spent on that green ball were much more precious to me than most of the gifts I have bought for Charles in the past – and I have a feeling Charles thinks so too!
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
Wednesday, 23 April 2008
Welcome Back
I am a very happy wife this weekend. Charles returned home on Friday after a spending a week in Yorkshire working on his PhD thesis. It is so nice to have him home. Our home feels much more complete with him here.
Over the past couple of years I have learned that the times when Charles goes away are good indicators to me of how at home I feel here in England – either positively or negatively. These are the times when I am most aware that I live far from my family since Mom cannot just pop over to stay or I cannot just go home for a couple days. At the same time, these are the times when I am aware that God has given us a good community to live in here where people look after you. People were so generous with their time – offering to help with Jack, have us around for meals, etc. I am very thankful for the community we have here.
The thing that I reflected on most this past week, however, was how much I missed Charles’s help in parenting. Parenting solo is hard work! There is no one to help with bath time, no one to get up when the birds start singing at 5:45 AM on that beautiful sunny morning, no one to help clean pants after yet another potty-training accident, no one to lay on the couch with at night after the house (hopefully) becomes quiet. I have a lot of respect for single parents. I know a lot of single parents who do it very well and my hat goes off to them. At the same time, I am thankful that this is not my current path, and God-willing, will never be. I am very happy that I have a partner to share in this parenting task. And it is obvious to me that Jack is very happy that his Daddy is part of the picture as was apparent throughout the week as he would comment on all the other Daddies around and even ask if I could call other Daddies around to play. Thank God for little boys who love their daddies AND thank God for husbands who love their wives.
Over the past couple of years I have learned that the times when Charles goes away are good indicators to me of how at home I feel here in England – either positively or negatively. These are the times when I am most aware that I live far from my family since Mom cannot just pop over to stay or I cannot just go home for a couple days. At the same time, these are the times when I am aware that God has given us a good community to live in here where people look after you. People were so generous with their time – offering to help with Jack, have us around for meals, etc. I am very thankful for the community we have here.
The thing that I reflected on most this past week, however, was how much I missed Charles’s help in parenting. Parenting solo is hard work! There is no one to help with bath time, no one to get up when the birds start singing at 5:45 AM on that beautiful sunny morning, no one to help clean pants after yet another potty-training accident, no one to lay on the couch with at night after the house (hopefully) becomes quiet. I have a lot of respect for single parents. I know a lot of single parents who do it very well and my hat goes off to them. At the same time, I am thankful that this is not my current path, and God-willing, will never be. I am very happy that I have a partner to share in this parenting task. And it is obvious to me that Jack is very happy that his Daddy is part of the picture as was apparent throughout the week as he would comment on all the other Daddies around and even ask if I could call other Daddies around to play. Thank God for little boys who love their daddies AND thank God for husbands who love their wives.
Thursday, 10 April 2008
Lesson learned
Today represents the first anniversary of my grandma’s death. In many ways it is hard to believe that it has only been a year, and in many ways it is hard to believe that it has been over a year. A lot has happened in twelve months both that I wish I could share with Grandma and things I am glad she doesn’t have to live through.
I remember before I moved to England I prayed that God would spare my loved ones while I was away. I knew Grandma was getting older and was hopeful that she would live until we returned back to the US. Cancer took her in what we thought were our last couple of months in England. There was definitely some bitterness in this and even some frustration and questioning of why it had to be this way.
As I reflect back on her life and her death, I am struck by two things. First, I am very thankful for the relationship I was able to have with her. I really don’t have any regrets. I got to say goodbye when I flew home specifically to see her in January. It was a hard good-bye, but I remember telling her that I had no regrets that she had meant so much to me and that I believed we had really made the most of our time together. She squeezed my hand and nodded her head in what I believe to be agreement.
Second, being far away when a loved one is dying is really hard. I was fortunate, however, to learn a very valuable lesson and one that I hope I will recall if/when I need it in the future. My natural tendency is to want to help in tangible ways – help cook, go visit someone, take them to the hospital etc. Unfortunately, I was not able to help in these ways. These tasks fell primarily to my aunt, dad and mom as well as my siblings there in Missouri. What I was able to do was pray. I learned that prayer is powerful. It was the only thing I could do, which I think was good for me given my natural tendencies of being a ‘take-charge – go, go, go’ type of person. I am afraid that if I was nearer my grandma during this time I wouldn’t have prayed as much and I wouldn’t have learned this lesson. Even though it was very difficult to be far, I am thankful for what I learned about prayer and continue to pray that it was serve me well in the future.
I remember before I moved to England I prayed that God would spare my loved ones while I was away. I knew Grandma was getting older and was hopeful that she would live until we returned back to the US. Cancer took her in what we thought were our last couple of months in England. There was definitely some bitterness in this and even some frustration and questioning of why it had to be this way.
As I reflect back on her life and her death, I am struck by two things. First, I am very thankful for the relationship I was able to have with her. I really don’t have any regrets. I got to say goodbye when I flew home specifically to see her in January. It was a hard good-bye, but I remember telling her that I had no regrets that she had meant so much to me and that I believed we had really made the most of our time together. She squeezed my hand and nodded her head in what I believe to be agreement.
Second, being far away when a loved one is dying is really hard. I was fortunate, however, to learn a very valuable lesson and one that I hope I will recall if/when I need it in the future. My natural tendency is to want to help in tangible ways – help cook, go visit someone, take them to the hospital etc. Unfortunately, I was not able to help in these ways. These tasks fell primarily to my aunt, dad and mom as well as my siblings there in Missouri. What I was able to do was pray. I learned that prayer is powerful. It was the only thing I could do, which I think was good for me given my natural tendencies of being a ‘take-charge – go, go, go’ type of person. I am afraid that if I was nearer my grandma during this time I wouldn’t have prayed as much and I wouldn’t have learned this lesson. Even though it was very difficult to be far, I am thankful for what I learned about prayer and continue to pray that it was serve me well in the future.
Wednesday, 2 April 2008
Last Few Weeks
This posting is way overdue. We have been busy with Charles’s parents the last couple of weeks. Jack really enjoyed having Grandma and PaPa at his house. It was a nice time for them to see Jack on his territory. A lot happened during their two week visit.
The first couple of days were filled with us introducing them to Oak Hill and our life in London. We also had a good day trip to Cambridge to show them our life for the past three years. We ventured into London and toured the British Museum which never gets old (however, each time I visit it I question the name since virtually nothing is truly British but has just been stolen over the years). The second week was spent on holiday in the Lake District – it was nice despite the rainy weather and traffic jam on the M6. All of this was filled with lots of bridge which is our favourite activity when Charles’s parents visit.
The end of the first week was one of the highlights for me. Charles and I went to Royal Free Hospital and had our 20 week scan. The technician indicated that everything looks fine at this point for which we were really thankful.
Although I was anticipating the scan, the main highlight that I was referring to above was our next event. After the scan, we then headed into London for a night away on the town. It was so much fun to be together and stay at hotel in Kensington. We haven’t had a night away from Jack together in England – largely because we don’t have the family to impose our son on (thanks to Grandma and PaPa)! It was so nice to have dinner, a movie, and a sleep-in the next day. Our date nearly corresponded with our 8th wedding anniversary which made it extra special. What a true blessing to not only love your husband after 8 years, but to even like him as well!
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