I have been to the sea (and back thankfully!)

I had a foot down day yesterday. It wasn't bad per se, just felt like a lot of unfortunate things happened. My parents used to tell me that these are days that build character, or something like that. Well if I wasn't a character before yesterday...I think I am now!

I had a client to meet yesterday that was located in Clacton on Sea, which is on the English Channel (I think). All I know is that it is two hours by car from London and two and a half hours by train. Therefore, it seemed like a no-brainer to me to take the train which was reinforced when I looked at the weather forecast to see that it was suppose to be a very English day - with pouring rain. I was, therefore, pleasantly surprised when I woke up to see just an English day (as opposed to a very English day) with overcast skies. The day looked so promising to me that I set off for the underground station without a coat.

The beginning of my train ride was rather uneventful. It wasn't until I got off at a tiny train station called Thorpe le Stoken that the feet starting pounding down on me (or more accurately the rain). I departed the train and quickly headed off the platform to where I was told there would be a taxi stand. There wasn't. Apparently taxis don't run on rainy days in Thorpe le Stoken. I quickly called my staff and asked them to hire me a taxi. They said they would. I called back a few minutes later to let them know that I had found the only dry spot around - the inside of an obsolete telephone booth which was still freezing cold. My staff assured me that the taxi would be there soon and thankfully mentioned that the taxi was headed to Clacton on Sea - which is not where I was (foot down). I quickly reminded her that I was at Thorpe le Stoken not Clacton on Sea. She panicked and then told me that she would cancel the taxi and send another very quickly. My phone vibrated a couple minutes later. It was my staff informing me that the managing director of the company was on his way to get me and that she had told him that I was standing in the telephone booth. I felt only slightly like a fool when the managing director, whom I had only met once before, drove up and I hopped out of the phone booth and into his car...soaking wet.

I spent the day at the client which was pretty productive considering it consisted of a long three hour meeting (groan...). The managing director then insisted that he take me back to the train station after I pleaded that we just call a taxi. Before I knew it, the managing director was in his car honking because he was afraid that he wasn't going to get me to my train in time. I hopped in (dryer than before) and we were on our way. The managing director dropped me off and told me that the image of me in the phone booth was one of the funniest he had seen in a long time. I smiled politely and wished him a good day. I then ran up to the platform to wait for my train that was suppose to arrive in 2 minutes.

A train pulled up which I believed to be mine since it was 'right on time'. However, it said Colchester on the sign which caused enough confusion that I thought I should ask the driver before getting on because I knew mine was suppose to go to London Liverpool Street Station. After trying to yell through the train window a couple of times, the driver finally opened his window for me to ask 'Is this the train to Liverpool'. He then curtly told me that Liverpool is in Lancashire and is five and a half hours a way. I once again smiled politely and said, 'I'm sorry Liverpool STREET'. He smiled and said 'Your train is over there my love'. (foot down - Oh those times when I wish I didn't have an American accent!). I turned my head to see the train with a huge London Liverpool sign in its window pulling up on the adjacent track. Whoever knew that Thorpe le Stoken was such a popular train stop!

I got on my train and headed back to London. I switched from the national rail train at London Liverpool Street to the underground and headed back to North London. I had already called Charles a couple of times that day to tell him about all this activity. I guess I had moaned enough about being freezing cold that he offered to come get me with the car. I was two stops away when the underground train conductor announced that this train would be terminating at the next stop and all passengers needed to exit the train (foot down). I got off the train and stood once again on a very cold platform waiting for the next train to take me one stop to my final destination. Ten minutes later and still freezing cold (foot down) that train arrived.
I remember coming up the escalator from the underground and seeing Charles and Jack standing there. Boy was I glad to see them (thumb up!). What a day...building character is tough work!

Happy Birthday

We had a great time celebrating Charles’s birthday last week. I think the best part for me is that this is the first birthday that Jack has somewhat understood. While Charles was away last week I told Jack that Charles’s birthday was coming. This prompted him to go around the house singing ‘happy birthday to Daddy’ at least five or six times throughout the day.

I told Jack that we would need to think of what to get Daddy for a present. I asked him if he had any ideas to which he quickly answered ‘a ball’ – ‘a green ball’ to be exact. I encouraged Jack with the idea and told him I was sure Daddy would love a green ball. I was unsure at this point whether Jack would forget this great idea or whether it would persevere over the next week as we waited for Charles’s actual birthday to arrive.

Not only did the idea of getting Daddy a green ball continue, but it was told to most of our neighbours. Jack would happily tell anyone he met on campus that we were getting Daddy a green ball which would then leave me explaining exactly what Jack had in mind.

We made our way to the toy store the day before Charles’s birthday only to get stuck in a traffic jam that was pretty severe. I wasn’t in the mood to sit and wait so I made the decision to turn around and head to the grocery store hoping that they might have some type of green ball in stock. As I turned the car around Jack started crying and pleading that we get Daddy’s green ball. I told him that we were going to go to another store to look for it. I prayed the whole way to the store for green balls to be in stock. Jack hopped out of the car and into the shopping trolley greatly anticipating getting a green ball for Daddy. We made our way down the aisle with toys and there they were – I spotted the cage with rubber balls in it. I quickly looked and noticed that there were four left – three blue Thomas ones and one green Diego one. I secretly thought to myself that our green ball plan was about to be derailed by Jack’s obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine. How dare I underestimate the perseverance and determination of my son! I asked him which ball he wanted to get for Daddy and without hesitation he declared ‘the green one’. One green Diego ball was thrown into the trolley leaving the other three blue Thomas balls for the next toddler on a ball hunt.

I explained to Jack that we should try to keep the ball a secret from Daddy until tomorrow (which is a very interesting concept for a 2 year old). He did amazingly well in keeping the secret. He presented the green ball to Charles (wrapped in a lovely Tesco shopping bag) right after breakfast on Charles’s actual birthday. The present was met with great appreciation by Charles and they even had a few kicks around the house before Charles headed off for work. The £3 I spent on that green ball were much more precious to me than most of the gifts I have bought for Charles in the past – and I have a feeling Charles thinks so too!

Welcome Back

I am a very happy wife this weekend. Charles returned home on Friday after a spending a week in Yorkshire working on his PhD thesis. It is so nice to have him home. Our home feels much more complete with him here.

Over the past couple of years I have learned that the times when Charles goes away are good indicators to me of how at home I feel here in England – either positively or negatively. These are the times when I am most aware that I live far from my family since Mom cannot just pop over to stay or I cannot just go home for a couple days. At the same time, these are the times when I am aware that God has given us a good community to live in here where people look after you. People were so generous with their time – offering to help with Jack, have us around for meals, etc. I am very thankful for the community we have here.

The thing that I reflected on most this past week, however, was how much I missed Charles’s help in parenting. Parenting solo is hard work! There is no one to help with bath time, no one to get up when the birds start singing at 5:45 AM on that beautiful sunny morning, no one to help clean pants after yet another potty-training accident, no one to lay on the couch with at night after the house (hopefully) becomes quiet. I have a lot of respect for single parents. I know a lot of single parents who do it very well and my hat goes off to them. At the same time, I am thankful that this is not my current path, and God-willing, will never be. I am very happy that I have a partner to share in this parenting task. And it is obvious to me that Jack is very happy that his Daddy is part of the picture as was apparent throughout the week as he would comment on all the other Daddies around and even ask if I could call other Daddies around to play. Thank God for little boys who love their daddies AND thank God for husbands who love their wives.

Lesson learned

Today represents the first anniversary of my grandma’s death. In many ways it is hard to believe that it has only been a year, and in many ways it is hard to believe that it has been over a year. A lot has happened in twelve months both that I wish I could share with Grandma and things I am glad she doesn’t have to live through.

I remember before I moved to England I prayed that God would spare my loved ones while I was away. I knew Grandma was getting older and was hopeful that she would live until we returned back to the US. Cancer took her in what we thought were our last couple of months in England. There was definitely some bitterness in this and even some frustration and questioning of why it had to be this way.

As I reflect back on her life and her death, I am struck by two things. First, I am very thankful for the relationship I was able to have with her. I really don’t have any regrets. I got to say goodbye when I flew home specifically to see her in January. It was a hard good-bye, but I remember telling her that I had no regrets that she had meant so much to me and that I believed we had really made the most of our time together. She squeezed my hand and nodded her head in what I believe to be agreement.

Second, being far away when a loved one is dying is really hard. I was fortunate, however, to learn a very valuable lesson and one that I hope I will recall if/when I need it in the future. My natural tendency is to want to help in tangible ways – help cook, go visit someone, take them to the hospital etc. Unfortunately, I was not able to help in these ways. These tasks fell primarily to my aunt, dad and mom as well as my siblings there in Missouri. What I was able to do was pray. I learned that prayer is powerful. It was the only thing I could do, which I think was good for me given my natural tendencies of being a ‘take-charge – go, go, go’ type of person. I am afraid that if I was nearer my grandma during this time I wouldn’t have prayed as much and I wouldn’t have learned this lesson. Even though it was very difficult to be far, I am thankful for what I learned about prayer and continue to pray that it was serve me well in the future.

Last Few Weeks

This posting is way overdue. We have been busy with Charles’s parents the last couple of weeks. Jack really enjoyed having Grandma and PaPa at his house. It was a nice time for them to see Jack on his territory. A lot happened during their two week visit.

The first couple of days were filled with us introducing them to Oak Hill and our life in London. We also had a good day trip to Cambridge to show them our life for the past three years. We ventured into London and toured the British Museum which never gets old (however, each time I visit it I question the name since virtually nothing is truly British but has just been stolen over the years). The second week was spent on holiday in the Lake District – it was nice despite the rainy weather and traffic jam on the M6. All of this was filled with lots of bridge which is our favourite activity when Charles’s parents visit.

The end of the first week was one of the highlights for me. Charles and I went to Royal Free Hospital and had our 20 week scan. The technician indicated that everything looks fine at this point for which we were really thankful.

Although I was anticipating the scan, the main highlight that I was referring to above was our next event. After the scan, we then headed into London for a night away on the town. It was so much fun to be together and stay at hotel in Kensington. We haven’t had a night away from Jack together in England – largely because we don’t have the family to impose our son on (thanks to Grandma and PaPa)! It was so nice to have dinner, a movie, and a sleep-in the next day. Our date nearly corresponded with our 8th wedding anniversary which made it extra special. What a true blessing to not only love your husband after 8 years, but to even like him as well!